For several weeks I had really painful shoulder and upper back pain. I went to acupuncture. I did exercises, took pills, applied heat and ice and still, I was in agony. A friend who is a physical therapist came over and started massaging my neck and back. She said, “You’re carrying a heavy load sister.” She was right. But it’s not just me carrying a heavy load, we all are.

If we are caring and aware people, we are carrying an existential sense of dread and sadness in these times. And we are not wrong to have it.

Let’s be honest here. Our world , as we have known it is badly broken. Basic safe-guards, and foundations of our society are crumbling. Courts have cleared the way for almost anything the current administration can imagine. The military has been weaponized against it’s own citizens. International relations are badly broken or frayed. Retribution, revenge, and retaliation are the tools of control and power used by our government. It’s too cold in the east and too warm in the west. Water tables are being depleted and yet we build and build and build. If there’s a way to make money nothing stands in our way.

Add to all this the heavy personal loads we carry. Ill health, financial concerns, marriages not working, friendships frayed, and tired, weary bodies seem almost unbearable in times like these.

How is it possible to be truly at peace now?

These days I am reminded of one of my favorite Bible passages:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me. Watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Forget everything else. I’m offering you a yoke that fits right and a light load.” Matthew 11:28-30 in the Message

Burned out, worn out, tired? YES!’’

What is God’s remedy?

COME

First, He tells us to come to Him. Where do we usually go when things seem overwhelming? Entertainment, sex, drugs, alcohol, or social media? We will do almost anything except get quiet and come to the only One who can really give us rest.

Coming to Him is not some unreachable work only done in a church or by monks. It can be as simple as taking a long slow walk, or taking time to intentionally look at a tree. Maybe we even linger long enough to wonder when it’s limbs were broken, how old it is, or what formed it’s misshapen trunk. Perhaps it means putting on a set of headphones and listening to a beautiful piece of music. Maybe it’s lighting candles and taking a bath. It means we stop our endless thinking loops. WE quiet not only our surroundings but our minds as well. And, we don’t just stop, we stop WITH God. We realize we are being companioned. We pour out our hearts to Him. We argue, or complain, or cry. We do not stuff it. We do not deny it. We do not numb it. We COME to Him.

The other day I was watching a movie, and a five year old who was looking for a newborn calf with his father paused and said this:

“If I were lost I know my mom could find me. So why don’t we let the mother cow out of the barn? She’ll find him.” Sure enough the mother cow led them right to the baby calf. That little boy knew the place to go. For him it was mom. The place for us is our compassionate ever-present God.

WALK AND WORK

Then He invites us to walk and work with Him. In other words we are invited to live our daily lives accompanied by Him. We are not alone when we put our baby in a car seat covered in crushed cookies for the 9 thousandth time, pick up the trash all over the driveway because the bag broke on the way to the trash can, feed the dog, pay the bills when we are tight on money, babysit the grandkids when our backs ache, do the 10th load of laundry, or go back to the grocery store to get what we forgot the first time. The point Jesus seems to be making is that we are invited to do it all with Him. Yes, we need to get quiet first, but then we are invited to understand that He is really right here with us, in us, and for us. There’s not one of our thoughts that alarms Him. There’s not a feeling He doesn’t already know. We are being invited into deep companionship all the time, everywhere, no matter what we are enduring.

WATCH HOW I DO IT

You might be asking, “how do I do that?”

Not long ago our two year great nephew was visiting us. He wanted to get up on a chair and help us cook. We chose tasks he could do, and then encouraged him to watch us do it. He watched intently, and then he imitated what he saw. He was so delighted at his success. Jesus invites us to watch how He does it.

To understand this part of the invitation I can only reflect on the Biblical accounts showing us how He did do it. Here are some things I notice.

It seems He was never in a hurry. He was never concerned about impending danger even though His followers warned Him repeatedly that He was heading for trouble. He was never alarmed by the lack of money as He lived assured that there would always be enough. He constantly talked to His Father. He removed Himself from the fray and went off to be alone when He was overwhelmed. He was not put off by the failures of friends. He let the foolish Jewish and Roman rulers carry on with their delusional grip on power as He choose to abide by the values and truth of a totally different Kingdom. He cared, He cried, He got tired, He felt deserted, and He suffered. This is the Jesus we are instructed to watch.

His way is described as the unforced rhythms of grace. There was no stridency. There was not rush or force or angry reaction. There was an easy following wherever His Father led Him.

I used to play in my high school and college orchestras. I remember conductors pounding their batons on the music stand telling us “don’t rush it, just stay with the music”. Just stay with the music. Just stay with it. Walk with it. Think with it, be with it. It is unforced.

So there’s the remedy offered to us by a compassionate God who knows exactly how we are feeling. Greenland, Venezuela, tent camps used as immigration holding facilities, false information about vaccines, observers being shot in the face are all reasons to be sad, reasons to care more deeply, and reasons to pray. They are also reasons to step aside, to leave the noise, to watch how He does it, to ask for wisdom as to how we can live alongside Him in unforced rhythms of grace.

In doing so, He promises that the load we still carry will not feel so heavy. It will not crush us or our spirits. It will be one we can carry because it is shared.

The other day I had to move a heavy bookcase in my office. I asked my brother to come over and help me. Together we moved it easily. It was a shared load. It was too much for me alone, but rather light as we did it together.

Oh caring companioning Father, there is so much feels overwhelming to us. May you remind us to stop, to step away from the noise, to watch you in the unforced rhythms of grace, and to share the load with you. Remind us that we are not alone we pray. Amen

Thanksgiving seems to be the favorite holiday among many of my friends and family. We gather to be together, to eat good food, and watch a little football. Since there are minimal decorations and no gifts it’s fairly easy for everyone, except the cooks. :)

A tradition around many Thanksgiving tables is to go in turn and express what we are especially thankful for. Usually we mention family, friends, food, our health, etc. Then we dig into the sumptuous feasts that are laid before us.

But I’m wondering if we can reframe of our “thankfulness” this year? Maybe I can explain what I’m thinking with a story.

I Kings 19

Elijah was a prophet of God to Israel. He had defeated the prophets of Baal in a dramatic showdown on a mountaintop. Ahab, the king and Jezebel, the queen, were furious since they worshipped Baal. So they vowed that Elijah would be dead by the next day. Elijah, filled with terror, ran for his life. After an exhausting day-long trek he found himself stranded in a foreboding inhospitable desert. Hungry, alone, and frightened he collapsed under the only bit of shelter he could find. It was a scraggly little Broom tree.

I looked up a picture of a broom tree. It is just a shrub, and it is poisonous to humans. So there he was with only one puny, solitary, poisonous Broom bush to give him shade and rest. His circumstances could not have been more dire. Resting under that shrub Elijah cried out to God saying he’d had enough. He told God he simply could not take anymore. So, he pleaded with God to take his life. Then he fell to sleep.

What follows is one of the most tender gentle passages in the Bible. He awoke to the touch of an angel. After looking around he noticed the angel was baking a loaf of bread over hot coals, and she had placed a jar of water at his head. Elijah sat up, nibbled at the food, sipped the water, and then fell back to sleep. But, the angel came again and touched him a second time. She told him “This journey is too much for you….so eat.” After he sat up and ate his fill he was strengthened and able to journey through the desert for 40 more days.

I love this story. I love that the angel met him when he was completely depleted of strength or ideas of how to save himself. I love that she did not shake him or scold him. I love that the angel wanted him to eat until he was totally full. I love that she just tenderly touched him.

Her actions showed that she knew his despair and that the journey was really hard. He could never make it on his own. AND, she gave him what he needed. She gave it with great love and tenderness.

A number of things impress me as I contemplate this story.

First I am reminded that no matter our age or station in life the journey is very difficult.

Second, we are all seen and tenderly loved as we travel.

Third, what we need is tenderly given to us by God’s gentle hand of love. It may not always be what we think we need, but what we truly need is given.

A beautiful sky is not just a sky. A tree is not just a tree. A rose is not just a flower. A kind word from a neighbor or friend is not just a word. A dog’s lick is not just a slobbery kiss. A child’s laugh is not just a laugh. These are not static gifts or objects. Rather, they are “provisions” actively being given to sustain us on the very difficult journey of life.

Debie Thomas writes in her book, A Faith of Many Rooms, “In the Gospels Jesus compares himself to manna. I believe Jesus desires to sustain us in our journeying. He desires to be our comfort, our joy, our nourishment, our delight, our substance, and our strength…..because the one who had no place to lay his head knows better than anyone that the journey is hard. He spent forty days in the lostness of the wilderness and knows we cannot handle the shadowy landscape on our own.”

So every single day he gives. He gives lavishly. Our daily paths are literally strewn with the “gold” of His giving.

As I sit here writing the day outside is a bit cold, dreary, and wet. But if I linger a moment, I see a world alive with the gifts I am being given. I see the last leaves of fall moving to the rhythm of little drops of falling rain. I see two bright yellow finches feasting at my feeder. I see bare branches studded with tiny diamond raindrops, and watch them falling softly onto the receiving ground. I’m reminded of God’s grace, like the rain, falling on us all. I’m reminded that the little finch is being cared for, and if God can care so tenderly for a bird how much more he cares for me. I’m reminded that a God who can create stunning beauty out of a dreary day is creating beauty no matter how dreary my life may sometimes feel.

These are gifts. They are gifts from SOMEONE who is always giving. They are given by One who tenderly touches me, and lavishes me with too many gifts to count.

The hot coffee, the toast, the dog’s adoring face, the laughter of a child, my eyes that can see, the bird song from almost every tree, the last clinging rose of summer, the fire in the fireplace….all of these are bread and water being given to me this morning on my journey through the perilous journey of life. Our paths are literally strewn every day with gifts that evidence God’s loving presence.

Oh God, may we be awake and may our eyes be open to see the precious gifts all around us. May we treat them, not as objects, but as manifestations of your tender loving care for each of us. May we understand that no matter what our circumstances might be this year, you see us, you are tenderly touching us, and you are filling our world with the enchantments of your generous giving. May we remember to sit up and eat for the journey is truly too much for us.

It’s been a little more than a month since Charle Kirk was murdered. There’s little more to say or write. However, I do have one more thing I’d like to add to the mix. At his funeral and across the internet he was celebrated as a Christian. I am not here to judge who is a Christian and who is not, but I will say without equivocation that his rhetoric had no resemblance to the words or actions of Jesus.

I want to be clear that I have no problem with him expressing his views though they are not mine. I am both appalled and saddened by the violence of his death. However, condoning the rhetoric of Charlie Kirk by calling him a Christian is deeply disturbing to me.

The word “Christian” has been used by kings, popes, and politicians, over the centuries to condone war, genocide, cruelty, slavery, and the demeaning of women. It is as if wrapping greed, hate, superiority, power-seeking, and cruelty in pretty clothes somehow makes it noble. Mention the word “Christian” and whatever follows is good.

Christianity has been reduced to a transaction. By simply asking Jesus into one’s heart they are guaranteed entrance into heaven. This is both a perversion and gross distortion of Jesus’ teaching and life.

What’s the history of the word, “Christian”?

The term, “Christian”, was not used until 42 AD almost 10 years after Jesus’ death. Being called a “Christian” was not a badge of honor that led to societal acceptance. Quite the opposite, being identified as a Christian was extremely dangerous. Followers of Jesus were hung upside down, jailed, beaten, hunted down, stoned to death, and shunned. But about 280 years after Jesus’ death Roman Emperor ,Constantine, declared Christianity the state religion (Christian nationalism). He granted concessions to Christians, including legal privileges such as tax exemptions and financial support for the Basilicas. Those professing to be Christians were elevated in society and could hold important positions in the government. Christianity became popular and fashionable. The label “Christian” was used by many who were politically ambitious, while they remained religiously disinterested. The emperors granted bishops civil, judicial, and legal power, blurring the lines between church and state and elevating the social status of church leaders. Being a “Christian” was the necessary requisite to upward mobility.

Finally some 50 years later Christianity was weaponized when Pope Urban II ordered the suppression of “pagan” practices. He condoned and encouraged the seizure of pagan’s property while outlawing their worship. This corruption of the real Jesus movement finally led to the Christian crusades. The “soldiers” marched under the banner of a cross and were promised spiritual rewards if they liberated the holy sites in the Holy Lands from the “pagans”. The crusades were violent, brutal and bloody. Isn’t it convenient to use the word “crusade” when it was war against anyone who did not think or believe like them? Between 1 to 3 million people died as the “soldiers of the cross” did their jobs.

The contrast between “Christianity” and being a true Follower of Jesus could not be more stark.

Jesus invited people to follow him. He did not ask them to join a church or attend regular Sunday services Let’s be clear. His invitation to follow Him was costly, disruptive and counter cultural. No one followed Jesus to better their social or economic standing. The Jesus “way” flies, both then and now, into the face of political and religious power.

As Richard Rohr says, both Jesus’ teachings and actions showed a clear bias to the bottom of society.

The people He noticed and the individuals He engaged were the very “least of these”. He saw and loved lepers, helpless widowed women, dirty children, social outcasts, adulterers, the mentally ill, poor fishermen, and the physically handicapped. He made it very clear that the way “up” in God’s kingdom is the way “down.” He taught that the poor, the meek, the peacemakers, those whose hearts are broken, and the seekers after God are the ones who will be at the top in His Kingdom.

In our modern America to identify as a Christian is not costly. As a matter of fact, it is a badge of honor. Holding a Bible, and publicly praying at a rodeo or football game is right up there with apple pie, family values, and baseball. What could be more respectable?

I’m very aware that what I write here may be offensive to some. It is not meant to make us feel soft and fuzzy. It is hard stuff. Jesus said that very few people would actually follow Him. The way is narrow not wide. It is down, not up. It is less not more. It is dangerous, not safe. It is foolish not smart. Not many of us want to choose that “way”.

I leave you with a story summarizes what I’m saying here.

Mark 5: 1-20

Jesus was in a country called the Gadarenes. This was a region that was cosmopolitan, a trading hub, and economically prosperous. It is here in this seat of power that Jesus encountered a deranged madman. The man lived in the cemetery. He had been banished from society. He was considered beyond hope. Even though the townspeople tied him up with ropes and chains he tore them off, and no one was strong enough to contain him. He was the homeless man we go out of way to avoid. He is the dirty man on the street that babbles to the light post. He is the man who stinks and has a hollow look in his eyes. He was a throwaway. As Jesus encountered this man He did not turn away. He did not pull His robes around Himself to avoid touching such a repugnant human being. Rather Jesus engaged Him in conversation. In talking to man He perceived that the outcast was possessed by demons. Perhaps that is like saying someone is suffering from addictions, depression, bi-polar disease, or other mental illnesses. These individuals are under the control of something that makes them less than their true created selves. In addition to the man and Jesus there was also a herd of pigs feeding nearby. Just as Jesus was preparing to heal the man the demons cried out begging to be sent into the pigs. Now I’m not sure the demons actually talked like this. I’’m not sure if this is just metaphor. But I am sure that the conditions which rob us of life (our demons) do not want to be destroyed or sent away. After Jesus assessed the situation he healed the dirty, hopeless, helpless man, and immediately the “demons” rushed into the pigs. It is important to note that the pigs were prized economic assets. They represented wealth and position. To own pigs was to have land, servants, and animals. The owners were well off. The pigs didn’t know what hit them, so they panicked and stampeded over a cliff to their deaths in the ocean.

Now, here is the kicker. The guys tending the pigs were astonished. They ran to the village and told the townspeople assuming it was good news. Meanwhile the healed man came to Jesus wearing decent clean clothes, making sense. He was no longer a walking madman.

But when the owners of the pigs arrived they were extremely unhappy. They saw their dead pigs bobbing up and down in the waves of the ocean. There went their money. There went their comfortable lifestyles. There went their positions of importance. There went their status.

So, they did the only thing the status quo can do in such circumstances. They choose to double down on their positions of importance, and they demanded that Jesus leave and never come back. It was pigs or Jesus and they clearly chose the pigs. The message they sent was clearly that religion, God, Jesus should never interfere with the seeking of, the hoarding of, and the maintaining of position and wealth.

Right there before their eyes stood a man who had been ostracized, shunned, and was no doubt the laughing stock of the town. He was the crazy guy who lived in the cemetery. Now, he stood there clothed, in his right mind, clean, coherent and healed. But their pigs were dead. They never even noticed the man nor did they speak to him. They just demanded that Jesus leave and NEVER come back again.

We are living in a culture of counterfeit, tamed, co-opted Christianity. At rodeos, football games, town hall meetings we pray “in Jesus name” and go on living lives contrary to the example and teachings of Jesus. It is as if holding a Bible, quoting verses, and praying publicly shows how “Christian” we are.

So let’s be very clear. Nothing about the rhetoric of Charlie Kirk regarding the immigrant, the LGBTQ community, women or the poor was Christian. It was the opinion of a man who could quickly and easily quote Scripture. It was one who used the label “Christian” to lend legitimacy to hatred and “othering” of the least of these. None of that is the spirit of Christ or of being a Christ follower.

The invitation of Jesus is still the same today. We are told that we are “in” the world but should not be “of” it. Our actions, our thoughts, our assets of time and money are to be consistent with the Jesus of downward mobility. Very very few of us want to follow.

Our loving God, may you give us discernment to know the difference between being in the world and not being of it. May you give us courage in these days to enact our faith though it may cost us money, time, social standing, or acceptance. And May You reveal to us the ways each day that we can be true Christ Followers.

I’m finding that it’s hard to have much hope these days. I feel like an old grump when people try to look on the brighter side of our nation’s decay and collapse. Someone said to me recently that they had to hold onto some hope or they would devolve into despair. So I got thinking about this thing called “hope” and wondered how it is possible to have any kind of reasonable hope when our personal world, or the world around us has collapsed.

Recently I listened to a podcast with Kristen Tippett about hope. Here is what she said;

“Hope lives very close to despair. There is much these days to bring us to a feeling hopelessness. However, hope is NOT wishful thinking or optimism. Hope, is rather an orientation, a choice in the face of reasonable profound despair. Hope attends to reality in all its complexity. It looks the world full on in the face and refuses to accept that things have to be this way.”

John Lewis the congressman and civil rights activist said it this way; “Imagine the world you want to inhabit and then live “as if” that is the reality.

Hope is not wishful thinking or optimism. Hope is muscular. It requires exercise and attention. But first, we must have something to hope for.

It is human nature to “hope” that things will go back to how they were.

When the inevitable changes of life come we mourn what we’ve lost and what was. We long for things to go back. We especially resist those kinds of changes that bring us to our knees. Death of loved ones, loss of health, financial ruin, or any number of “setbacks” cause us to remember the past and long for it to return.

Right now, in America we are experiencing huge changes. For me, somehow our present crisis feels like more than a detour. It seems like a crumbling, a shaking, a disintegration, a falling down, and I want things to go back to how they were.

So do we hope against hope that somehow things will turn out ok and go back to what we loved? Or do we orient ourselves to a different kind of hope?

Richard Rohr, one of my favorite authors, teaches that there is a pattern of things that we can see in our personal lives, in nature, in institutions and in empires. This pattern is:

ORDER——DISORDER——REORDER

Nature is probably our clearest teacher in understanding this pattern. We see the glorious order of summer give way to the disorder of winter’s death and decay, and then the vibrant emergence of spring. Order, disorder, and reorder.

Notice, the reorder is never the same as the original order. It is always new. It is not a going back to what was. Upon examining our own lives we can see the pattern is the same. If you’ve ever lived through a divorce or the death of a loved one you know that the new order is not anything like what “was”.

For example, when Jesus was on earth the Jewish people were living in a time of disorder. Their nation had been destroyed, and they now lived under the cruel iron rule of Rome. It is only natural that they longed for things to go back to the way they were. Therefore, they kept boxing Jesus into a neat little “king” package and expected He would liberate them from their captors. Then they would go back to being a great nation again. Sound familiar? Jesus, of course, was taking them, and all of us, to a new place, a new kingdom, and a new way of being. He was introducing reorder.

Hanging on to what “was” and hoping to go back is a surefire recipe for anxiety, agitation, and discontent. Let’s face it, this disorder stuff is really really hard. We cannot imagine what might be, but we do know what was. So we want to go back.

We are now collectively experiencing a time of disorder. Separation of powers, judicial integrity, human decency are all under attack daily. Things like rule of law and truth-telling are dissolving in front of our eyes. I want it all to stop. I want our country to go back to what it imperfectly was.

But, as long as I cling to that hope, I am full of fear, anger, and anxiety.

So, it occurred to me one day that I could actually accept that we, like the Jews of old, are living in a time of disorder. It is all coming down. It is horrifying to experience, but it is the truth. The only way I can accept this as reality is to fix my heart and mind on the reorder that will eventually come. It may take 10 years or 50, I don’t know. But I believe the pattern of things is that disorder eventually fizzles and then a new thing emerges.

What this new order will look like we don’t know. I must say that I doubt that it will be some cosmic return of Jesus. I expect it will be a new order of being on earth. Hopefully many of the excesses of consumerism, obsession with technology, isolation of persons and families will have washed itself out. We may see an awakened society, sobered by the ruin they saw and experienced. Perhaps there will be a society that values all people and upholds the laws of protection for everyone.

So not matter what kind of disorder we may be experiencing it might be helpful to stop trying to “go back” to what was.

Instead as John Lewis encouraged us we can, “Imagine the world we want to inhabit and then live “as if” that is the reality.”

Disorder is uncomfortable. Disorder is also inevitable. So we have the choice to live in despair, or to practice the exercise of muscular hope.

Every time I hear another bit of bad, dark, scary news I am working to reorient my mind by saying this:

“I know I am living through a time of disorder. It is frightening. It is sad. It is infuriating.. But I will not become hopeless. I will acknowledge that the way things are and always have been is happening now. Order, Disorder, and Reorder. I wonder what kind of glorious order God will bring out of all this”.

This is muscular hope. This is the choice we all have now.

“Oh Lord, You know the disorder we are experiencing in our personal lives and as a nation. It is no surprise to You. May You keep us from being filled with despair or cynicism. May you give us muscular hope that acts out your love and kindness even when we see no optimistic reason to do so. May you bless us with your peace we pray.”

I woke up to world that was soaking wet. It had rained all night. But being the good dog mom that I am, I took my dogs for a walk anyway. On the way, I found a wet abandoned dog outside my neighbor, Steve’s house. His car was gone. The lights at his porch were on, and the dog was soaked to the skin. Steve is an active alcoholic. We regularly see him falling down or stumbling around, but I know he loves that dog.

I was sure he would come back soon to be with his dog but after my walk the dog was still there. So, I tried the door which was unlocked, and let the dog in.

After some investigation I found out that Steve had been arrested and was in jail for DUI. After I got help for the dog I came to terms with the fact that I was feeling angry, judgmental, and disgusted at Steve. What a dumb thing to do. Who leaves their dog out all night? He should not even have a dog. But I was finally able to find a softer place knowing that Steve suffers from a disease that has cost him his wife, his daughter, all his friends and his dignity. Nobody does that on purpose. But my grace is so limited. My grace is so conditional. My grace is stingy.

Stories of the events after Easter challenge me to see a God that simply can’t seem to stop loving us or extending grace no matter what we’ve done or who we are.

In the words of one of my favorite authors, Brian McClaren,

“What might happen if every Easter we celebrated the resurrection not merely as the resuscitation of a single corpse nearly two thousand years ago, but more as the ongoing resurrection of all humanity through Christ? “ Brian McClaren

I can’t believe that I studied and read scripture all my life and it feels like only recently I have begun to see how truly radical Jesus’ message is. It cuts across social norms and challenges us to be very counter-cultural people. It is not convenient.

The after-Easter stories are full of Jesus’ bottomless grace. As I read recently in Richard Rohr’s books, Jesus had a strong bias toward the bottom. Worthiness, success, power, and security are all turned on their ear when encountered by Jesus’ grace.

So after his resurrection, He did not appear to the power brokers of His day. He did not seek to validate Himself. There were no golden thrones or plans for retribution. Rather, He showed Himself with tenderness and grace to the “bottom” people… A woman, strangers, a man who had trouble believing, and worn out, washed up, afraid fishermen.

The Woman

Her story is long and woven throughout the Gospel narratives, so I will just give you the highlights. She was met by Jesus and delivered from seven evil spirits ( maybe some sort of mental disorder). She was an outcast. She was “discarded”.

After that healing she never left Jesus side. She donated money and travelled with the disciples to help with all the chores and details of their travels.

She was the only one of His followers who stayed at the cross after everyone else had fled.

In the dark before dawn she was the first to go to the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body with oil ( a sign of affection).

After His disciples had come and reviewed the scene, she was the only one who stayed behind. And there she cried.

The Gardener

Startled she heard a noise and looked up to see the gardener, a common laborer, standing there with her. Think of it…Jesus, risen from the dead appears for the first time with dirt under His fingernails, dressed in ragged workmen’s clothing. For good reason she did not recognize Him. And then He simply spoke her name.

But that name was spoken with such tenderness and such compassion she knew immediately that only Jesus would have spoken it like that. She knew it was Him.

TWO STRANGERS

Two unnamed men were leaving Jerusalem after all the tumult of the last several days. They talked intently with one another trying to make sense of all the events that had just transpired. A man joined them as they walked the seven miles to their home. Casually, He asked what they had been talking about. Incredulously they asked if he’d been “under a rock” the last few days. They proceeded to rehearse the events of the last three days. When they had finished, He simply began to explain Biblical prophesies made hundreds of years earlier that pointed to these events. Would they wake up? Would they figure it out? Not yet.

When they finally reached home they extended common hospitality to Him by inviting Him to stay and have dinner. He accepted their invitation and sat at their table enjoying a meal. But when He broke the bread and thanked God for it they instantly recognized that this was indeed, Jesus. Then He disappeared.

A DOUBTER

Thomas, one of the disciples heard the story that Jesus was alive, but like many of us He had a hard believing it all. It was too preposterous, too absurd to be true. So he blurted out that unless he stuck his fingers in Jesus’ wounded side and saw the holes in His hands he would never believe. A week after the resurrection as the disciples huddled fearfully behind locked doors, Jesus appeared to them. His first words were not disgust or anger at their cowardice and unbelief. Rather, He simply said, “Peace be with you”. Then He looked directly at Thomas. He invited Thomas to put his finger into His side and touch His hands. There was no criticism or humiliation.

FISHERMEN

Peter had had enough of sitting around discussing Jesus. Why had he ever left his village, his profession, his family to follow this man who was a huge disappointment? He probably pounded his fist on the table and announced that he was going BACK to what he knew. He’d fallen for a lie and he was going fishing.

The other disciples got up and followed him. Getting into their boat they fished all night long. These men who were professional fishermen, did not catch one single fish all night long. They had followed Jesus and that hadn’t turned out so well. They had gone back to what they knew, and that hadn’t turned out so well either. Exhausted, disillusioned, and discouraged the dawn began to break. Off in the distance stood a vaguely familiar man. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you caught any fish? Try throwing your nets on the other side of the boat.” Who was this guy telling THEM how to fish and calling them “friends”? Didn’t He know that you don’t catch fish in the morning when the fish can see the net? However His invitation was so compelling that they threw logic aside and did it anyway. You probably know their nets filled with so many fish that their boat almost sank. As they got to shore they saw a fire burning. Fish and bread were being cooked for breakfast. After a long night of hard labor the smell of cooking food must have been so welcoming. The Man said, “Come and have breakfast”. Then they knew it was Him. Jesus did not scold them or treat them with disgust or disappointment. They were met with love, and kindness, generosity, and invitation.

Do you see the pattern?

Women: Treated as second class citizens. Relegated to serving the men. Less than. Not as smart as….

Strangers: “Stay away from strangers,” we are told. “They aren’t like us. They speak differently. They eat different food and wear different clothes. They aren’t our kind”.

A doubter: No more mercy for this guy. He had seen all Jesus’ miracles. He had been on the inside and heard all of Jesus’ teachings and still didn’t get it. He was not worthy of any more mercy. He’d had his chance and he’d blown it.

Fishermen: What on earth would it take for these guys to understand? For three years he had poured his whole energies into teaching them. They were a lost cause. Let them go back to their stupid fish. They weren’t worth His time anymore.

A woman, strangers, a doubter, and fisherman. That’s what Jesus did after His resurrection.

Can we understand if we can stop making Easter about an event in the past, we can, instead respond to the invitation to a live our lives in their ordinariness as people who see and love the “bottom”? Can we become people who are raised from the deadness of fear, hostility, exclusion, and violence? Can we be people who are strong, benevolent, peacemakers, enemy lovers, offense forgivers, and boundary crossers?

Brian McClaren writes: “I can imagine Easter being an invitation for us to constantly celebrate newness , freedom, change, and growth. Can Easter invite us to welcome the outcast, the strangers, the aliens, the refugees, and people of other religions or no religion at all?”

“Oh tender loving God, please give us hearts to care for the world with your heart. Give us compassion to see in each wounded, marginalized soul our own souls so in need of your grace. May we both experience and extend this love to ourselves first and then to all those we encounter….even our alcoholic neighbors.” Amen

Today is Maundy Thursday. It is the day and night before Jesus was tortured and crucified. Empire and religion had joined forces to “get rid” of a Voice that threatened their positions of control and power.

On this day Jesus gathered His disciples for one last meal. There, He assumed the posture of a servant, washing His disciples dirty feet. Then He left to be alone in a garden to pray.

Let’s take a moment to focus on that last event of the day, the garden of anguish. I wonder, if you have you ever been waiting for days after your medical tests are complete? The doctors are reviewing their findings, and soon you will hear their final diagnosis? Have your been overcome with fear and anxiety as you wait to get the news? A high risk pregnancy, a pet scan result, news after a loved one’s surgery, a trial verdict…and we wait.

Perhaps, we feel that it is a failing to be overcome with fear and anxiety. We might tell ourselves that we should have more faith.

However, I would assert that we would be less than human if we have not felt this level of anguish at some time in our lives. Underneath our daily routines is the constant hum of knowing that life can turn on a dime bringing with it tragedy and pain. We know life is fragile. All the time it is just freaking fragile.

Jesus did not feel any differently. He knew full well what was coming. The diagnosis was in. Tomorrow he would suffer untold pain and humiliation. He had seen people crucified in Rome. The Romans used this barbaric form of death to intimidate their subjects into total obedience. Dare to come against the empire, and this will be your fate.

So He knew what the next day would bring. He, like us, was filled with fear and anxiety. He begged God to save Him from what tomorrow would bring. He was in such anguish his sweat was like huge drops of blood.

To top is all off, the people He had mentored, and loved, and brought into His inner circle fell asleep, and then took off to save their own lives.

CS Lewis wrote: “some people may feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith. I don’t agree at all. They are afflictions, not sins.”

At the end of a long night of anguish, an angel came and “comforted Him”. The word for “comfort” here would better be translated to mean “strengthened”.

Jesus was somehow given the courage and the steadfastness to endure and go through His suffering.

We cannot escape the inevitable vicissitudes of life. It’s part of the whole story. But we can carry our fears and anxieties, our dread and sadness to a God who is “a man of sorrows acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:6)

We must remember our God is one who suffered the worst that empire could deliver. In our deep pain, we can ask “the God of all Comfort” for the courage and strength to endure.

Many of us are living through personal trials that threaten to undo us. And we are also living through a time of collective fear, anxiety, and dread as we feel the ground of predictability rumble under our feet. Religion has co-opted itself with the empire state of America. We know the things we value, our lives, our livelihoods and our safety are at huge risk.

It is ok to be anxious, to feel unsteady, to dread what we see coming.

But in our present gardens of anguish, we can and will be met with a ‘angels” who speak love and calm, courage and strength into our troubled souls.

“Oh dearest Jesus, you know how we are feeling. In our personal and collective states we face forces much bigger than we can ever control. Join us in our desolation with your loving and grace-filled courage we pray.”

In 1950 the Firestone Tire company came up with a jingle to convince American car owners to buy their tires. It went like this:

“Wherever wheels are rolling

No matter what the load

The name that’s known is Firestone

Where the rubber meets the road!”

I guess I’d translate that for us to say, Whenever things are hot, or hard, or heavy you’ll need something strong and tough enough to stand the test.

So, here we are. The hard, the heavy the hot are here. It is no longer theoretical. It is here and it promises to get worse. The back room money men and women have taken over. The rich powerful oligarchs, along with the massive corporations have implemented their plans to control the whole world for their own benefit. The government is being gutted. Every single service that benefits the old, the poor, the sick, and the weak is being privatized for profit.

The whole world is being turned upside down. Old alliances are being discarded like used tissues. And all the while the lawmakers wink, applaud, and mumble excuses.

We are all reeling and left wondering how our lives and the lives of our children, families, friends, and communities will be effected. We are carrying deep dread as we see the fabric of our democracy being torn apart. We wonder what will happen to healthcare, income security, cost of living, personal autonomy, women’s rights, safety for non white, and non binary people. We carry this dread, fear, and uncertainty like a heavy weight every day.

I have to be honest in saying that I have avoided writing this article because, quite frankly, I have been so sad and so shocked I have not had any words to say. I’m still not sure that I do. But here is my attempt to help us hold up, hold on and stay together.

I think most of us feel paralyzed, small, helpless and impotent in the face of such darkness. But I would suggest that there are two things we can do.

We can save ourselves and we can save the world.

Really? I can almost hear you say. I know it sounds absurd but here is what I mean.

Beyond the threats we face to security and life the biggest threat we face is the destruction of our own souls. These are the kinds of times that fill people with fear and anger which leads to hate and violence. These are times that cause our unprotected souls to contract into hardness. So the first thing we must protect at all costs is our souls. We must determine to remain compassionate, loving, kind people, even to our perceived enemies.

There is a story in Acts 16 about two of Jesus’ disciples, Paul and Silas. They were in a city that was that was a stronghold in the Roman Empire . In other words, they were in deep enemy territory. There they healed a little girl that was being used by mercenaries as a money-making spectacle. She was being abused and used for profit because an evil spirit inhabited her which made her able to predict the future. So, Paul and Silas healed her. Then they attributed her healing to God. This defiant action threatened the power structures of Rome and Jewish collaborators. They had maintain their positions as the only authority to be obeyed, and the only ones worthy of worship. So they captured these two men and they brutally beat them. After which they threw them into the inner most part of a prison where they were chained to the walls.

If there was ever a reason for them to be filled with hate, with despair, and anger this was it. They had committed no crime except that they had dared an action that flew in the face of empire. With bleeding backs and bruised beaten faces they did not revile their guard. They did not rehearse to each other the incredible wrongs they had suffered. They did something quite counter-intuitive. They sang. Their songs filled the prison and other prisoners heard them. The story gets a little long here so let me summarize by saying God freed them and the other prisoners. The guard was so thrown off his rocker that that he asked them to explain this kind of faith and unstoppable love. In the end he invited Paul and Silas to his house where he bathed their wounds, and fed them.

Sadly all such standing up against the powers does not turn out so well. But what I take away from this story is that these two followers of Jesus did not let evil people make them evil. They chose to sing. They chose to extend mercy and love even to their captor.

Hatred, fear, anger, and revenge will corrupt and kill our souls. We must, under every and all circumstances, choose to keep music in our hearts while we forgive and love even the evil doers. We must save ourselves.

And, we must save our world. Of course none of us has the power to actually save the whole world. But we are given the power to save little pieces of it. Real love includes real action. Running for your local school board or volunteering for an organization that serves the poor are examples of defiance and acts of love that will save little pieces of your world. Writing letters to the editor of your local newspaper, seeing the face of Christ in every homeless person, giving more money than you usually do to causes working for justice and mercy are actions within the reach of us all. These “little” acts can save our little corners of the world.

When Jesus left this earth He commissioned His followers to go into all the earth and make disciples. He wasn’t telling them to go to church or to hold revival meetings. He was sending them into an empire of politics and religion that had tortured and brutally killed him. Their experience would be no different.

The road we are on is dark and promises to get darker. Each of us must decide how we will walk it. I am reminded of this poem I have on my bulletin board.

“This is your day, your life.

Night will come, when you are no more.

But today you are God’s light in the world.

This is the time to shine,

To love, to forgive and ask forgiveness,

To speak for justice, to give yourself

To the mending of the world.

This day

The coming of the night need not frighten you.

But let it keep you awake

While it is day.”

So the rubber has met the road. The testing of what we are made of is here.

Oh Father, Mother God, help us to protect our hearts and minds from becoming like those whose actions and words are full of hate and self-promotion. Give us your heart to love and forgive and sing in all circumstances. And show each one of us our part to play, our corner of the world to save.

Amen

Mark 1:12-13

“And the spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.”

This is not one of my favorite Bible stories. It is dark and scary and I just don’t like it. But in reading and thinking about it, I am given pause to see it as potentially very helpful to us. Most of us, like Jesus, have found ourselves in terrifying desert experiences that were certainly not of our choosing.

Like us, being in this desert was the last thing Jesus wanted. We are told He was “driven” into this circumstance. In imagining this I can almost see Jesus arguing, pleading and dragging His feet as he is literally thrown into this hellscape. When there, He found himself surrounded by wild animals (perhaps jackals, and hyenas, hissing snakes, and deadly scorpions). And then to top it all off, Satan was ready to use the circumstance of Jesus’ terror and weakness to tempt Him. The howling, the snarling, the slithering snakes went on and on. It must have seemed to Jesus like an eternity of suffering with no end in sight. Forty days is a symbolic way of telling us that it was a long long long time.

Life can certainly dish up some pretty terrifying experiences for us all. Experiencing a contentious divorce, losing a loved one to death, experiencing financial ruin, being betrayed by a trusted person, or enduring a serious illnesses can be just as a real a desert as the one where Jesus found Himself.

When we find ourselves in these circumstances the wild beasts of fear, anxiety, doubt, anger, hopelessness and pain often relentlessly circle and nip at us too.

Let’s be honest and admit that we hate feeling this vulnerable, this out of control, this alone. We try to fend off the untamed, the unsettled, the undomesticated and unpredictable parts of our lives. We hope faith, or prayer or church might put a hedge around us. But the fact is that every hedge we build falls apart in the face of these kinds of wild things.

So it is especially comforting to notice while Jesus was in this place He was not alone. We read that He was surrounded by attending angels.

These angels did not medivac Jesus out of this situation. They did not drive the animals away or throw Satan out. Instead they were there to hold Him, to tend to his wounds, to bring water, and comfort Him.

Debi Thomas in her book “Into the Mess” says, “It is worth holding onto this image of Mark’s crowded desert because the austere and complicated landscape he describes, the bizarre menagerie of despair AND solace, and accompaniment, is where we live”.

Life dishes up some pretty terrifying, unwanted, gut-wrenching circumstances to us all. AND, we are accompanied in these places. We are attended to. We are seen. We are held. We are NOT alone.

I”m reminded as I write this of the names given to Jesus in the Bible. Among many names there are these:

“God of all comfort”

“A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief”

“Counselor”

“Prince of Peace”

And we are assured over and over again that we will not be left alone, EVER!

In Matthew’s gospel we read that the very last words of Jesus to His disciples were,

“And surely I Am with you always, even to the very end of the age.”

I know it is hard to actually realize God’s loving presence with us. After all God’s presence must be felt and not seen. But I am sure that to help us out God sends His angels to us like he did to Jesus. I’m also sure that most of the time our “angels” go undetected.

Many years ago I was going through a heart wrenching break up with my partner. It felt like tears were just barely behind the surface of my eyes all the time. I remember going to my physical therapist for back pain. I just wanted to hold it together long enough to get through that session. When her tender healing hands touched my aching back the tears flowed uncontrollably.

She did not ask for an explanation. But when she was finished there was such caring compassion in her eyes. I knew I was seen and had been loved. She was an angel.

An angel may be a kind nurse, a loving partner, an understanding friend, or simply someone holding a door for us or helping us pick up what we carelessly dropped.

We all could tell dozens of stories of being “met” like this. God provides company and solace where we least expect it, and sadly seldom see it.

Opening our eyes and hearts to these companions along the way can help us see how much we are not doing this alone.

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an EVER-PRESENT help in times of trouble.”

Debi Thomas goes on to say, “ There are angels in the wilderness. They don’t always come with cures. They don’t hand us the control we crave. But they come as messengers of unfailing love. They come because the God who knows that we are dust, the God who drove Jesus into the wilderness, stands with us in our pain and keeps sending the angels to us.”

So my friends I leave you with a verse from one of my favorite hymns. It was written in 1847 by a man dying of tuberculosis. He wrote:

“Abide with me, fast falls the eventide.

Though darkness deepens, Lord with me abide.

When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

God of the helpless, oh abide with me.”

And I offer this prayer for us to take into the days ahead.

Oh God, our friend and ever-present help, give us eyes to see your angels. Give us solace in our pain, and bath our weary souls in your love. Amen

This New Year soundlessly
settled over us as we slept.
A palpable calm holds this brittle cold beginning.
This morning brings an invitation to look back.
to remember those small unnoticed gestures of love.

The intentional smile, the kind word,
the rescued dog, or person, or maybe yourself.
The courage you used to meet the rawness of pain.
The hope you held despite the darkness.
The love you gave that wasn't returned.
The patience you displayed as things stayed the same.
The food you prepared, the laundry you did, the gift you gave,
The soft answer you offered to anger.
The long phone call,
the soup, the pie, the conversation.
All seem too small to matter.

But stop this icy first day.
Listen into the stillness.
"Well done, dear child, Well done”.

The morning also brings the invitation to look forward.
You might trouble yourself with warlike resolutions to lose weight,
to stop this, or start that.
But perhaps you can go gently
moment by moment
step by step.
Your attention, your intention set on only one thing.

May you breathe in the love of God
May you breathe out the love of God.

Because I’m old and a creature of habit I still watch the evening news. After I see the stories of brutality where hundreds and thousands were tortured and killed by the Syrian dictator, or children begging for food in Gaza, or a deranged man driving his car through a Christmas market in Germany killing and maiming dozens, I’m left feeling sick to my stomach. I wonder where there might be any good news. In fairness the last minute or two of the broadcast is dedicated to a good news story. It’s always about people helping other people in ways that warm my heart. But that one minute does not take away the heaviness I feel about all the rest of the stories. So what I need, and it seems all of us need, is some really really good news.

Over 2000 years ago things were pretty bleak for most Jewish people. The Romans ruled the Jews with an iron fist and unspeakable cruelty. The Jewish elite and religious establishment had figured out it was better to "go along to get along” than to resist this power. They made themselves enablers and accomplices to the Roman Empire as they contributed to the misery of their fellow Jews.

One very cold dark night at a time of utter hopelessness the skies suddenly opened and blazed with light. An angel appeared to a motley crew of poor peasant men. These shepherds who worked the graveyard shift had the job of sitting every night in the freezing cold black inkiness of night to protect sheep that probably belonged to someone else.

This angel announced to them that she was bringing super

Good News. While their jaws were hanging open and their hearts terrified the whole sky filled with angels singing and instructing them to go to Bethlehem. In a dank cold barn smelling of manure they’d find a baby in a trough used to feed cows. We know the story. They left their sheep and rushed to Bethlehem where they found a new-born tiny pink baby boy. Jesus was among us.

Now some 2000 years later we might be asking what exactly is the Good News about all that? Certainly it is not the end of war or human suffering or cruelty. So what is it?

Well, I’ll tell you what it’s NOT.

The Good News, announced at the birth of Jesus is not world peace, or all children being fed, or the poor being protected, or governments run by benevolent leaders. It’s not a miracle cure to cancer, or winning the lottery. Even though that’s what we all might wish for, it’s not what God was promising.

For a clue we need to look at what Jesus said about Himself. Jesus told us that if we have seen Him we have also seen God. In other words, if we want to see God, we need only look at the words, and actions, and heart of Jesus. He fleshed out the heart of God for us all to see. Jesus made an invisible God visible.

So what do we see?

In reading the stories of Jesus we see a God who assumes the role of a common servant and kneels with a basin of water to wash the dirty smelly feet of His disciples. We see a God who threw off all the trappings of worldly power and rode a borrowed donkey into the power capital of Jerusalem. We see a God who saw and touched the untouchables, the lepers, the bleeding woman, the dirty little kids. We see a God who threw parties and banquets and invited everyone. We see a God who, when faced with 5000 hungry people, fed them all till they were stuffed and there were still left overs. We see a God who extended mercy to the very people who perpetrated the suffering He saw everyday. He healed a Roman officer’s child. He picked a tax collector as one of His disciples. He roasted fish and bread to welcome the disciples who had run for the hills to protect themselves when He was being crucified.

This is the face of God revealed to us by Jesus. This is a God of infinite love who sees us all. No one is ever excluded from the welcoming arms of this God. There is NEVER a shortage of mercy or grace or forgiveness. There is never a time we are not seen and loved. There is not “merit game” we must play to receive His love. And no matter what happens to us, or what we do, we cannot separate ourselves from His loving merciful embrace.

And to make that Good News even better, this God of infinite grace has promised never to leave us or to stop loving us.

Being human is a very hard assignment and we cannot get through life without suffering. But we can journey through this difficult experience with the surety that we are seen, we are loved, and we are accompanied by this everlasting loving God.

When I was 12 years old the Russians had installed nuclear war heads in Cuba and were threatening to send them our way. It was a Sunday morning and my family had gone to church. I was home alone because I had the flu. I sat there in my bed terrified that it could all happen while I was all alone. Then this song I had sung in church came to me.

“Under His wings I am safely abiding. Though the night deepens and tempests are wild. Still I can trust Him, I know He will keep me. He is my Father and I am His child.

Under His wings, under His wings, who from His love can sever?

Under His wings my soul shall abide. Safely abide forever.”

And there, my friends is the Good News. We belong to a loving God, full of mercy and kindness. This God holds us, and comforts us, and never, under any circumstances, will leave us. We are held in the heart of this Magnificent Lover forever.

So, Merry Christmas to you all. And may this season find you resting in the very very Good News that God is with you and will never leave you or stop loving you.

I decided not to decorate for Christmas this year.  After all, with the state of our country and world what is the point in celebrating? However, after a few days of sitting with my despair, I decided that making our home a bright, happy, and hospitable place was still important.  I could still light up our little corner of a very dark world. 

I sense that most of us are living in some sense of apprehension  about what the days ahead will hold.   For me it often feels like I have a low grade fever.   This election was certainly not the beginning of our darkness. Our world has been changing for a long time.  Our institutions (healthcare, education, religion, government) are fraying around the edges and have been showing cracks in their foundations for a long time.  The planet  we call home is literally groaning as we insist on taking more from her than she can replenish.  Since the recent election we are facing a troop of characters who will “run our government” with disregard for the elderly, people of color, the earth, the sick, and our allies overseas.  Their goal is clearly to enhance their own power and bank accounts.  

Let’s face it.  Things are changing and will continue to change.   The status quo we have enjoyed is over.  So, how should we live into this new reality?

We can respond to this mess with despair, or distraction, or denial.  I certainly have indulged in all three.  But I would suggest none of these responses help make us or our world any better. 

Or, we can respond with HOPE 

Let’s first look at some things that HOPE is NOT. 

 Hope is not a naive conviction that things will just turn out ok. This kind of hope could be called wishful thinking or optimism. 

Hope is also not attaching to a desired outcome.

Attaching hope to a certain outcome can create massive anxiety because, we ultimately know we cannot control circumstances.  I HOPE my cancer will go away, I HOPE I will win the lottery, I HOPE my child will be safe at school, I HOPE the election will turn out a certain way.   We cannot achieve any these outcomes by hoping and they may never be our reality.  

Perhaps we need a sense of hopelessness before we can land on a hope that makes sense. Pema Chodrin, the Buddhist nun and author, defines hopelessness as “Relaxing with the ambiguity and uncertainty of the present moment without reaching for anything to protect ourselves. In this kind of relaxation there is an appreciation of impermanence and change.” Sinking into the uncertainty of this moment in history allows us to move to a different kind of hope that is both potent and vital. 

Hope can be seen as an act of defiance.  

We can choose to defy paralyzing complacency or a sense of defeatism.  We can refuse to slip into our easy chairs of despair and resignation.  Instead we can choose to stand on our feet, brimming with defiance and creative energy.  

Vaclav Havel said, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something is worth doing regardless of how it turns out.”  

Another author and activist, (Sarah Kendzior) , said “I believe in the truth of doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, let the chips fall where they may.”   

What would that kind of hope look like in our lives right now?  What is the “right” thing we can do in defiance of the darkness around us?  

In Brian McLaren’s book, “Life after Doom,” he likens our possible responses to our present world like being on different teams.  

“My choice is between Team Cruelty, Team Apathy, Team Selfishness, Team Indifference OR….Team Wisdom, Team Courage, and Team Kindness”. 

We are being invited to live into this present moment in history as humans who choose to live in defiant HOPE, whatever the outcomes might be. 

When we let go of our attachment for desired outcomes, and our personal risk assessment, we are free to live into this darkness with the energy of fierce defiance.   We can choose to respond to every darkness with light and every situation with love.  AND, therein, lies our marvelous victory.  

I think of Jesus as He lived into a corrupt religious system, a cruel and powerful governmental system, and huge inequity between the rich and the poor.  He saw the sick, widows, the “other” treated as “throw aways”.  Into this darkness He just kept responding with radical love.  But quite honestly, it didn’t really turn out that well, did it?  After all, He was tortured and crucified by these very systems.  Right? Or…..was He victorious?  Was the great victory He won that no matter what happened, LOVE COULD NOT BE KILLED?

That phrase has been repeating itself over and over again in my head and heart. 

No matter what, LOVE cannot be killed.   

No matter what, LOVE cannot be killed.

No matter what, LOVE cannot be killed. 

From His bleeding and swollen mouth He told the thief dying next to Him that he would join Him in paradise that day.  As He looked out at a crowd that jeered and cheered, or deserted Him, He said “Father, forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing”.

Love could not be killed. 

Nelson Mandela,  Martin Luther King, Ghandi, the Freedom Riders, the lunch counter sit-in activists taught us love cannot be killed even though your head is bashed in, or you are in prison, or even if you are killed. Perhaps, the outcome of their actions did not seem worth the price they paid.  But in all these circumstances they choose not to add to the darkness around them by compromising their own souls.  They refused to let love be killed. 

Defiant hope for us may not entail life-threatening choices, or maybe someday it will.  But in the meantime, defiant hope can be the choice to continue loving those who voted differently that we did.  Or it can mean volunteering for an organization that may not survive budget cuts.  It may be handing out soup to the endless line of homeless people.  It will look differently for all of us, but it will not look like inaction, or despair or wishful thinking.  It will not look like giving up and giving in. It will look like the choice to decorate my house for Christmas in spite of the darkness around me. It will be the intentional choice to light up our corner of the world however and whenever we can.  It will look like a total disregard of the outcome. It will look like people who refuse to let love be killed. 

I close with this prayer:

Lord, as I see humans all around me doubling down on “more”…more retribution, more money, more exploitation for the planet and of people, more power, more war.

I pray that I will be able to embrace “less”…less thought of self preservation, less pessimism, less anger, less grasping to the status quo.

Fill me with a  different vision of “more”…  A vision that more love matters now. And give me more hope to march into the mess brandishing weapons of tenderness and love and kindness and a passion for justice. 

And may this kind of “more”be gloriously manifest on this earth.

Just last week I FINALLY went to the hardware store to get a toilet paper holder that would actually NOT fall off the wall. For seventeen years I had lived with one that frequently came off the wall. After the 100th time of  getting my tiny screwdriver and flashlight and wedging myself between the toilet and the wall to fix it, I was finally fed up. Oh don’t get me wrong, I had thought many times about getting a new one, but I was stuck because I could not think of how to patch the huge hole the old one would leave.  So it took me 17 years to finally DO something about it.  Turns out it was a pretty easy fix. 

All of this got me thinking about how we humans get used to carrying around the broken places in ourselves. After years and years we get accustomed to living with “it” until it actually feels sort of normal. It’s just the way things are. 

There are three stories in the Bible about people who carried their brokenness like this for many years. 

The first story goes like this:

“He was teaching in one of the meeting places on the Sabbath.  There was a woman present, so twisted and bent over with arthritis that she could not even look up.  She had been afflicted with this for eighteen years.  When Jesus saw her, he called her over.  “Woman, you’re free!”  He laid hands on her and suddenly she was standing straight and tall, giving glory to God. 

Luke 13:10-17

The next story is found in John 5:1-18.

There were hundreds of sick, blind, and paralyzed people who were taken everyday to a pool in Jerusalem that was believed to have healing powers. Beliefs were held that the pool would bubble up sometimes.  If you were one of the lucky few who got in the water first you would be healed.  It was, of course,  an old fable, but they believed it.  So, day after day, after day these very sick people sat around the pool waiting to hit the lottery.   One guy who was paralyzed had been coming for 38 years.  It had become a way of life for him.  Everyday somebody had to carry him there.  He probably had his favorite place to sit, like the people who always pick the same seat at church.  He was, no doubt, surrounded by the same group of friends. They probably talked about politics and town affairs, and the latest news, took naps, and ate their packed lunches.  Day after day after day they waited for something magical to happen that would change their lives.

One day Jesus showed up and saw this mass of suffering humanity.  Then His eyes fixed on our paralyzed guy. 

Here’s what how it unfolded.

“Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there. He said, “Do you want to get well?”

The sick man said, “Sir when the water is stirred I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool.  By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.”

Jesus said ,”Get up, take your bedroll, and start walking.” He picked up his bedroll and walked off”. 

Our third story is of a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years.   According to Jewish custom this condition made her “unclean”. She was forced to isolate and had to avoid touching anyone.  Over the 12 years she had spent every single dime she had on doctors, who did absolutely nothing to help her.  Her life was one of loneliness, shame, and desperation.  Having heard about Jesus she thought she would give it one last chance.  When she found him he was in the middle of a huge crowd.  Because she was filled with shame she did not even dare to speak up and ask for help. But with great determination she pushed through the crowd until she got close enough to touch His robe.  Immediately she was healed.  Jesus stopped and asked, “Who touched me?”   Of course the crowd was jostling him and he was being touched by hundreds of people.  But He knew that her touch was different.  Her touch was one of desperation and hope.   

When she realized she was found out, she came trembling to him.  In front of everyone she blurted out her whole shameful story, a story she had worked so hard to keep concealed for 12 years.  Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk, trusting me, and now you are healed and whole.  Live well, live blessed!” Mark5:25-34

Eighteen years

Thirty eight years

Twelve years 

These dear people had grown accustomed to their ways of life and it seemed impossible for there ever to be a change. Isn’t it easy to just let life grind on and on?

The lady bent over could not even look up anymore.  The paralyzed man had carved out a sad meager routine he called life.  The bleeding woman had resigned herself to a life of lonely shameful isolation.

I wonder what pulls us down with our faces to the ground?  What pool we might be sitting beside waiting for a magical cure? What feels so shameful to us that we cannot even speak of it to anyone, or maybe even to ourselves? 

We all carry something. We all live with pain that feels heavy and hard.   

Depression, anger, shame, fear, blinding ambition, traumatic memories, deep wounds from people we loved, searing losses, and addictions are among the loads we allow ourselves to carry for many years.

I don’t know what you have been healed from or what pain still pulls you down but Nadia Bolz-Weber writes:

“No matter what it is in your life that is seen or unseen by others, no matter what you have already healed from, no matter what pain remains hidden, no matter, no matter, no matter.  God loves you too much to leave you unseen and emotionally unhealed.”

We become so accustomed to living with our pain that we begin to accept it with hopeless resignation.   But I assure you there is nothing normal about being bent over in our spirits, or letting years pass by waiting for a magical “cure”, or in hiding our true selves because of shame.

I love that in each of these stories Jesus is the one who SAW them, the one who noticed them, the one who cared and brought loving restorative health to them.  

God sees us in our brokenness.  HE really sees the deepest “us”.  He knows us better than we could ever know ourselves. God cares deeply, and it is God’s intention to help us live our most whole and healthy lives.   

To find this kind of healing we may need to give up our arrogant independence and reach out for help.  We may need to get a good therapist, we may need to take the meds that are prescribed for us.  We may need to go to an AA meeting, or find an honest group of friends who won’t just bullshit all the time.  We may need to go to scary places in ourselves and face the demons that chase us.   We may need to give up wasting our lives waiting for some magical cure to arrive.  

It takes courage to see and own the fact that we are broken.

It takes courage to take the first baby steps toward wholeness.

It takes an open heart to know that God sees you. 

It takes vulnerability to ask for help.

It takes a good long look at how things are and a decision to make them different with the help of a God who loves and sees us.  

What I can promise you is that God sees you.

God loves you more than you can ever imagine being loved.

And God longs to free you from the pain you carry. 

Of this, I am sure.

If you’ve ever watched the Doctor Phil show on TV you’ve seen that after listening to people go on and on about their problems and how they are dealing with them, he often asks this very poignant question: 

“How’s that working for you?”

His question is an invitation to examine what they are doing and how their actions are serving them.  In real life we all tend to go back to patterns and habits that we know.  When things get tough it’s natural to reach for what worked before even if it is not working now.    

One of my favorite New Testament stories illustrates this pattern perfectly.

The story is found in John 21.  

Jesus had been tortured, crucified, buried, and risen from the dead.  His disciples who had staked everything they owned, all their energies, and three years of their lives felt let down, abandoned, depressed, ashamed and afraid.   They had not seen the Kingdom Jesus had promised materialize.  Jesus’ message and miracles had been life-changing for thousands of people.  But in the end the collaboration of church and state had joined forces to silence and kill Him.  These disciples who gave everything to Him had fallen asleep when He asked them to stay awake and pray.  They had fled the scene when the crowds, like howling jackals, had demanded His death. Peter, his most devout follower actually denied Him three times on the eve of his crucifixion.

So they were disappointed in themselves, disillusioned with Jesus, confused as to what it all meant, and afraid for their lives.  

They had seen the resurrected Jesus two previous times, but He appeared and disappeared like a magician offering no direction for their lives. 

Just imagine them sitting around going over and over the events in their hearts and heads.  Should they continue to believe and hope?  Were they crazy to have ever bought into such a wild tale?  Now what should they do with their lives?

So, Peter, the decisive impetuous one stood up and declared,
“I’m going fishing”. Frustrated, the others stood with him and declared they were going too. It appeared that there was nothing to do now but to go back to what they did before.…  back to the familiar. 

So, they went fishing.  All night long they worked hard throwing heavy wet nets out into the sea.  They were experienced.  They knew what they were doing.  But time, after time, after time, their nets came up empty.  

Who among us has not felt this kind of desperation?   Our dreams have been dashed. Our labor has been fruitless. So we go back to our old habits, our old ways, our old friends, our old thoughts.   Maybe making more money, or having one more exciting experience, one more drink, or one more relationship will bring us the peace we long for.  But try as we may, we remain confused, alone, and empty.  It didn’t work then and it’s not working now. 

When morning came and the sun was rising they saw a figure at a distance on the beach.   It was Jesus, and with kindness He simply said, “Good morning, did you guys catch anything?”

I’ve heard that same voice of God in my own heart and mind.   “Good morning, Kass.   How’s what you’re doing working out for you?  Is it achieving the peace and rest you are hoping for?”

The disciples gave a one word answer, “No”.

No, we have not caught a single fish.  No, we have not found any fulfillment doing what we always did.  

At this, Jesus told them to throw the net off the right side of the boat.  Now I have to tell you that I’m sure they had been throwing those nets off both sides of the boat all night to no avail.   How is throwing it one more time in the morning going to change things?  There is no sense to this command.   But by now they had recognized this was the voice of Jesus.   So they did what He told them to do.  And you probably know the outcome.  Their nets were suddenly so full the disciples were not strong enough to haul the net into the boat.  So they rowed to shore pulling the net behind them.  Someone took the time to count the fish…153 big fish.

Jesus did not greet them with;

“I told you so.”

Or, “What is wrong with you guys?  Can’t you figure this out yet?”

Or, “I’m giving up on you all.  You’re absolutely hopeless!”

Instead, He invited them to bring some of the fish to the fire He had built.   Bowed before them He assumed the posture of a servant, and He prepared a meal for men who were starving for much more than a good meal.  He tore off chunks of bread and served them a meal that did not just fill their stomachs but their hearts as well. He met them with grace, on top of grace, on top of grace.

Jesus stands on the shore of all our shattered dreams, disillusionments, failures, and discouragement.  From that place we are seen.   We are loved.  And we are invited.   

We are invited to come into His loving presence and listen deeply in our hearts.  I would have loved to have heard the conversation around that breakfast fire that morning. Did the disciples pour out their hearts to Jesus?  Did they tell him of their shame, of their fear, and of their hopelessness? I have to assume they did. How much relief there is in just pouring out our hearts to a God who loves us and “gets” us. 

God is a God of hospitality.  He is a God who meets us right where we are in our messes.  He is a God that hears us and then without blame, fills our hearts with the generous outpouring of His love.  His love is not earned.  It is not given because we finally got it right.  God’s grace is given because God is who He is….not because of who we are.   

On the shore of our tattered, strenuous, intense, worry-filled, busy lives Jesus stands quietly inviting us to another way.  If we stop long enough to be still and hear the voice of God, we will hear a message of his presence, of His life-filling love, and of His never ending grace.   

As we approach Good Friday and Easter I am reminded of how I thought and behaved during this season when I was much younger.  I can remember going to church on Good Friday and looking at the cross in the front of the church.  As I sat and the piano or organ played very somber music, I tried to feel really sad. I would kind of squint my eyes trying to somehow conjure up a tear or two (which I never did).  It sort of felt like going to a funeral of someone I had helped to kill.    

These many years later I see how childish and even primitive my thinking was.   Now the whole subject of Jesus death and resurrection raises far more questions than answers for me.

But what has become somewhat clear to me is that the crucifixion of Jesus was in fact the most cataclysmic clash between two world systems we could ever imagine.  All the might and power of our world system and social order combined to silence and kill the heart of God, the voice of Love. 

Two social orders that could not be more different came to blows, and Jesus won.  I know I know, it doesn’t look like Jesus won.  He’s the one bleeding, hanging naked and tortured in a horribly grotesque form of torture and death.  But, trust me, He won.  

So, what were these world orders and how did Jesus win?

  The first, and the one best known to us is the social order of earthly empires.   These are the empires that have existed and dominated cultures since Cain killed his brother and then established the first city.  That city and all empires since have been organized around the principles of Cain killing his brother to get what he wanted.       

This basis of the world order is the acquisition and preservation of possessions, power, and prestige through force.  Every war, every rape, every murder, every theft every act of selfishness and dishonesty can be traced right back to these core values of the world order.   Violence, compromise, lies, objectification of people are accepted and necessary to keep the social order going.  Violence is necessary and lauded as the only way to preserve the life to which we are accustomed.

 The other social order is the one Jesus taught, demonstrated and lived. He called it the Kingdom of God.  In this social order the poor are first, those who mourn will be comforted, the persecuted will inherit God’s kingdom.  Maybe the easiest way to say it is that the underlying principle of this kingdom is love.   No one is excluded.  All are invited and welcomed.  There is no meritorious nature to life here.  Grace is given freely.   Love is extended to all.  The highest prize of God’s kingdom is the preservation of our souls in love with God.  

Jesus teaches us that to live by His social order while here on this earth will mean we are misunderstood, sometimes hated, and by worldly terms often unsuccessful.  

“If this world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.  If you were of the world, the world would love its own:  but because you are not of the world, therefore the world hates you”.  John 15: 18-20

Whew, that’s pretty strong stuff.  Think of Martin Luther King, or Ghandi, or the  Freedom Riders, or Erin Brockovich. They all stood up to the world social order and they all were hated.  It cost some of them their lives. Threatening the world order is not a “safe” thing to do. It is not practical.

If we are thinking in worldly terms Jesus made a very big mistake.  Jesus entered the world system, but He lived by completely different principles and values.  In so doing He challenged the religious and political power structures. He did not challenge them by violence, but simply by doing things very very differently.  

He violated religious law by healing on the sabbath and by eating with the prostitutes and tax collectors.  He allowed his disciples to pick wheat and eat it on the sabbath.  That made a lot of religious elites very very angry and threatened. After all, how could they maintain their seats of power and prestige if people were allowed to freely break their rules? They, not God’s love, were the ultimate authority.  

He also threatened the political powerhouse of Rome.  He assembled large crowds.  He said He was the king of the Jews.  He said He and God were one.  All of these declarations were reserved for Caesar the mighty ruler of Rome who was treated as a deity. To say He was a king was to threaten the power of Rome. 

So, in short we have two parallel kingdoms existing side by side.

One, is the preservation of power, possessions, and prestige protected by violence.

The other is Kingdom of forgiveness, inclusion and truth defended by nothing but love.

As Brian Zahnd says in his book “The Wood Between two Worlds”,

“The cross is where Jesus does nothing less than re-found the world. Instead of being organized around an axis of power enforced by violence, the world is reorganized around the axis of love expressed in forgiveness.”

Psalm 136 says twenty six consecutive times 

“His steadfast love endures forever”

“His steadfast love endures forever”

“His steadfast love endures forever”

The most powerful forces of earth combined their hideous strength to silence Jesus. They used the worst and most barbaric torture they could imagine, and they lost.  The steadfast love of God endured forever.  They could not kill that love.  They could not tempt that love to fight.  They could not bend that love to their wishes.  

His steadfast love endured forever. 

A convicted thief and criminal hung next to Jesus.  He asked to be included in Jesus kingdom that day.  Jesus turned to him and assured him that he would be included.

His steadfast love endured forever.  

His dearest friends and disciples betrayed Him and ran away to save themselves. He did not desert them or condemn them.  

His steadfast love endured forever.

The  crowd like a pack of hyenas jeered and challenged Him to come down from the cross if He was the Son of God.  Soldiers played dice games at the foot of the cross to win his clothes.  People He had healed, people He had dined with, people He had loved all remained stone cold silent.  And Jesus’ response was “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”  

His steadfast love endured forever. 

He never resorted to violence.  He never resorted to condemnation.  He never resorted to vengeance.  He chose to suffer this ugly painful humiliating death rather than bend to the principles of the world’s social order.

The very worst that the world system of empire could exert did not win that day.  

Reflection:

Rather than this being an intellectual truth I’d like to invite you to pause and be quiet for a bit.  Imagine yourself sitting at the foot of this cross.  Imagine your eyes meeting the loving eyes of Jesus. 

In that place you know there is nothing you have done or can do to make God ever stop loving you.  His outstretched arms welcome you to come into the embrace of His undying love.

You are loved with an enduring love.  And you are called to live in this world of power and violence as children of love and light.  

May this season remind us that we are the beloved of God and we are the hands and feet of Christ in a world longing to see and know a different way

Unless we have been living under a rock we are all aware of the unfathomable suffering in our world. Most of us respond with great compassion and sympathy, but we also feel very small and ordinary.  We can send a few dollars to some organization, but most often we are left feeling impotent and ineffective.

I think Jesus knew we would feel this way so he told stories. He used analogies and metaphors about little things that make a big difference.  Two of those analogies are seeds and salt. 

SEEDS

I have a poem taped to the whiteboard by my desk.  The last lines say: 

I choose to risk my significance ;

To live so that which came to me as seed

    goes to the next as blossom

And that which came to me as a blossom

     Goes on as fruit.”

(Fully Alive by Dawn Markova)

Both this poem and the Bible stress the importance of sowing seeds.  There are several ideas about seeds that have impressed themselves on me lately.

First, we have all been given seed to sow.  Every single one of us is a unique, one-of-a-kind gift to this planet.  There will never be another me or another you.  God implanted in each of us a unique and Divine way of manifesting Him and His love into this world.  It doesn’t matter if we are gifted orators or are good at making money, or making pies or arranging flowers or are just good listeners  Anywhere we live and work there are people who are desperately in need of what each one of us can give.   So saying we are insignificant and have nothing to give is a fallacy.

My wife’s sister had Down Syndrome.  She obviously had many limitations.  But she also had a heart full of love for God and people.  I can remember her talking to almost anyone she met and reminding them that Jesus loves them.  She said it with such conviction and sincerity that her words often stopped them cold. What a simple reminder but what a profound reminder. She did not have a big flashy seed, but it was HER seed and she sowed it everywhere she went.   

Second, sowing seed is an act of faith.  Farmers labor in plowing and preparing their fields, they sow and plant their seeds, they tend the crop by controlling weeds and water.   But that time between the sowing of the seeds and the first little sign of green growth requires complete faith. The farmer has no ability to make that seed break open and swell until it brings forth life. All he can do is put the seed into the dark earth and walk away. The rest is not his job or his business. 

Jesus put it this way.  

 “A man scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.  All by itself the soil produces grain, first the stalk, then the head and then the full kernel in the head”. Mark 4: 26-28)

 So like the farmer, our job is to plant seed everywhere we go.  It doesn’t matter if people read what we write, or commend us for helping them.  It doesn’t matter if they change their lives. What matters is that the seed is sown.  The rest is God’s job, not ours. 

As I was walking into the grocery store this morning a woman walked toward me.  Her hair was disheveled, her clothes dirty and worn, and her face wore pain.  I greeted her cheerfully saying,  “good morning”.  Her pace did not slow and her expression did not change.   As I walked away I asked God to bless her day and to give her a sense of His loving presence.   It doesn’t matter if we see a result, or impact from our sowing of seeds.  It matters that we sow them everywhere we go.  A seed of kindness had been sown. The rest is not my job.  

Third, sowing of seed is tremendously important.  Families living in poor countries sow seeds to feed their families.  The harvest ensures that they and their families will not starve.   When I say the world is starving for love it’s not a hyperbole.  People, rich and poor, black and white, young and old are starving to be seen and loved. The seemingly little, insignificant seeds you and I can plant will feed their hearts. 

Just commend someone for a good job, or touch them on the shoulder in compassion and watch the tears fill their eyes.  Who notices people?  Who stops to help them empty their grocery cart or get the bags to their car?  Who takes their neighbors garbage can back after trash day or bakes fresh bread when they are sick?  Sadly few people understand how powerful these small little acts of kindness can be.  They can be life-changing.  

We have all been given seed.  We must believe that what we have is significant.  We must sow our seed in as many places to as many people as possible. 

SALT

 Another metaphor Jesus used to show us how vital we are to the health of our society is salt. 

Jesus said, “Let me tell you why you are here. You are the salt of the earth” Matthew 5:13

Jesus did not say you are “supposed to be” salt. He said YOU ARE SALT!  And He said it’s why we are here.  

 Here are few things salt does: 

• Salt preserves food

• Salt disinfects wounds

• Salt melts ice

• Salt softens water

• Salt soothes sore throats

• Salt flavors food

Just look at those verbs:  preserves, disinfects, melts, softens, soothes, and flavors. 

And now think of the fact that YOU and I are the life forces on earth that God uses to give these essential elements to our world.  

Being salt is not just a nice little boy scout or girl scout thing to do.  Being salt is ESSENTIAL to life on this planet.   Having too little salt in our bodies will kill us.  I golf in the hot summer sun and several years ago I started feeling nauseous and dizzy.   I had sweat out the salt my body so desperately needed.  Someone gave me a salt tablet which I took.  In a few minutes I felt better.  I learned that without salt we die.  Think of that for a bit.  Without salt we die!!!!

And so we might diminish our importance. We might give credence to the voices in our heads that tell us we are not smart, or rich, or talented so we have nothing to give.  But God does not diminish it.  God says what we have to offer this aching world are the essential elements needed for human life.  We can sow seeds that feed the hearts of people.  We can be salt everywhere, thus healing, melting, soothing, flavoring, and preserving their souls.   

To diminish ourselves, our gifts, or our opportunities is to diminish the Divine Seed and Salt we are.  We can all be part of the healing of our planet.  Not one of us is insignificant.  

So, I leave you with this prayer

Lord God, I don’t feel very special or that I have much to give this starving world.  May you remind me of the seeds that are mine to sow.  May you remind me in the moments of my day to cast my seeds wide and far to every person I meet. May you remind me that in every single encounter I can be one whose saltiness is a healing flavoring agent.  May you convince me that it matters. And may I trust that you, the Lover of us all, will tend the seed and cause it to grow into a harvest of love.  May I trust that just a grain of salt from me can flavor, and melt and soothe and heal the place I inhabit. May I live this precious life you have given to me and others as though it matters. 

Call me old fashioned but I still insist that the official start of the Christmas season is not until the day after Thanksgiving. 

This year as we see and hear of the human carnage and suffering in Israel and Gaza, the continued gun violence in America, political rhetoric that reduces the dignity of all humans I wonder how the Christmas story might inform our response. 

As I ponder the meaning of Christmas again two words come to mind.

Revelation and Invitation.

REVELATION

The birth of Jesus came at a time of suffocating darkness for the the Jewish people.   They longed to be out from under the thumb of harsh Roman rule.   Their religious and political leaders had aligned themselves with Rome to advantage themselves over their fellow Jews.  A once proud nation was reduced to a humiliating hopeless existence. There really was no good news anywhere.   

Into that darkness God revealed Himself.   It’s as if He said,”I see you, I hear you, I know your suffering.  I am here with you.”   Through an angel, a dream, a glory-filled sky, and maybe just an intuition God revealed Himself to common people. He revealed Himself right where they lived.  At home assuming her duties, Mary saw Him.  In a dream Joseph heard him.  On the hills around Bethlehem while watching sheep Shepherds heard and saw Him.  Learned intellectuals saw a star and knew it worth following. 

 Unfortunately the routine and expediency of our lives dulls our senses from seeing God.  A tree is a tree, a sky is a sky, a cashier is a cashier, a song is a song, a bird is a bird.  Except they are not.  In all of them God is revealing Himself.  I think, if we really saw the hand and heart of God all around us it would bring us to our knees.   

In Annie Dillards book “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” she says;

“There are lots of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises.  The world is fairly stuffed and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand.  But, and this is the point, who gets excited by a mere penny?  If you follow one arrow, if you crouch motionless on a bank to watch a tremulous ripple thrill on the water and are rewarded by the sign of a muskrat kit padding from its den, will you count that sight a chip of copper only, and go your rueful way?   It is dire poverty and simplicity indeed when man is so malnourished and fatigued and he won’t stoop to pick up a penny.  But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is, in fact, planted in pennies, you have with your poverty brought a lifetime of days.  It is that simple.”

Indeed the world is planted with the endless pennies of God’s revelation. 

Barbara Brown Taylor says in her book “An Altar in the World”;

“Most of my visitors of the divine have happened while I was busy doing something else.   I did nothing to make them happen.  They happened to me the same way a thunderstorm happens to me, or a bad cold, or a sudden awareness that I am desperately in love.  I play no apparent part in their genesis.  My only part is to decide how I will respond, since there is plenty I can do to make them go away”…

The path of a young maiden, a carpenter, a group of hardworking shepherds, and the enlightened intellectuals was strewn with the pennies of His revelation.  AND, they all knew it was God. They did not dismiss it as happen stance, or coincidence of just a dream.   All of them knew they had seen God and they responded with willing hearts. 

INVITATION 

God’s revelation to these people was accompanied by an invitation. God was about to reveal Himself in human flesh.   In this unveiling he invited common people to be part of the plan.  He invited each one to play his and her own part.   Each one was being let in on the greatest revolution the earth would ever know.   

Though these people longed for change they had grown accustomed to the way things were.   They had adapted and carved out lives that were lived within the confines of the rigid rule around them.  

Yet, things did change.  Mary was invited to be the mother of Jesus. Joseph was invited to protect and defend his fiancee from the harsh treatment that awaited unwed mothers.  The shepherds were invited to come down off the hills to a smelly barn to see a baby.  The learned men were shown a star that filled them with enough curiosity to took a two year trip in hopes of seeing a toddler. 

God is always inviting us to to find our deepest source of love and acceptance in Him.  And then He invites us to be co-conspirators in spreading that love everywhere we go. 

I am reminded of a poem by Rumi that says:

“ Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me”.  
Of course you do not do this out loud;
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this, the great pull in us to connect.  
Why not become the one
Who lives with the full moon in each eye
That is always saying with that sweet moon language
What every other eye in this world is dying to hear?”

We are invited to be both receivers and givers of this limitless unconditional love.  To every bug, every tree, every person, every animal we are invited to flesh out Jesus. 

What we don’t need in this time of gross consumerism is more stuff or more information.  What we do need is a sense of belonging, of being seen, and of being cherished.  And we need to be part of something much bigger than ourselves. 

Hearing God’s constant invitation to receive and give His love requires that we see beyond the ordinary.  It requires that our hearts are soft and ready to say “yes” and “yes”, and “yes”.  

Oh Lord, this Christmas season may I see the revelation of You everywhere.  May I see you in the eyes of the homeless, in the winter sky, in the stillness of new snow, in the face of the cleaners, and the waiters.  May I see the revelation of you in every bush, every tree, every rock and every circumstance in my life.  

And Lord, may I hear your invitation.  May I hear the invitation to come to you with my weary heart.  May I hear your invitation to hold and love me no matter what.  Any may I gladly join you in your invitation fo be the fleshing out of your heart in a troubled weary world.  

I feel ill at ease these days.  The cruelty and carnage in Gaza and Israel are unimaginable. Our country’s government is badly broken and whatever form of democracy we enjoy is being threatened as we face an impending election.  I sense a strong urge to distract myself. I want to buy something, go someplace, or be with someone. If I am honest I feel an underlying hum of dread. 

Yet, as I sat this morning having my coffee and smoothie for breakfast I was mesmerized by the birds in my yard.   Happily eating, flitting about, zooming through the sky and enjoying the day, they seemed to be at peace.  How carefree they appeared to be.

Jesus lived in a time that felt much like ours. His country was fraught with war, injustice, cruelty, and deprivation.  The Romans held the Jewish people in a strangle hold.  Any dissenters were tortured and publicly hung as a warning to anyone else who might be tempted to do the same. The religious establishment was in bed with the political powers. It all seemed hopeless. Yet, in that time and in that place Jesus paused by the road and said: 

“Consider the birds of the air.  They don’t sow or reap or store in barns, and yet, your heavenly father feeds them.  Are you not of much greater value than they are?”   Matthew 6:26

 At first reading it appears that Jesus is saying bad things don’t happen to birds. But, let’s face it.  Birds fly into windows and break their necks.  They get electrocuted on power lines, and bigger birds swoop out of the sky and eat them. Their lives are constantly threatened.  So how are we to comfort ourselves as we consider these birds?  I think we can be sure that the birds are not thinking about the next hour or day or year.  They are inhabiting the moment they are in. 

Volumes have been written about the importance and benefit of disciplining ourselves to stay in the present moment. But why is it so hard?   Research has shown that we are hard-wired to be self-protective.  We can count how many bullets we have in a gun, how much money we have in the bank, how reliable our security system is etc.  But, all of that is only a warm blanket of delusion. Such thinking lulls us into a false sense of security and control. Let’s face it, being out of control is terrifying.  

What if: 

 There is a nuclear war.

 A shooter comes into my kid’s school.

 I get cancer.

 The economy crashes and I lose my job and all my money.

 An earthquake demolishes my house.

In all these imagined scenarios I want a plan, resources, and a way out.  I want control to somehow assure myself that I am safe. 

Meanwhile, those birds we are admonished to consider, are gloriously free of such thinking.

 Jesus spoke about the futility of worry when he said,

“Do not worry about your life. Who of you, by worrying can add a single hour to his life”… (Matthew 6:25)

Ekhart Tolle says:

“The most decisive event in your life is when you discover you are not your thoughts or emotions.  Instead, you can be present as the awareness of your thoughts and emotions”.  

In other words we can learn to observe our thoughts. As I pay attention and observe my thoughts I can see them come and go.  I can say things like:

“Oh there it is, that thought about (fill in the blank).   I can get on that train and ride it for hours or I can simply let it go”.   Of course, this interruption of our incessant thinking requires attention.  That’s why meditation is seen as such an important exercise for our brains.  In meditation we see our thoughts arise, we identify them, and we gently let them go.  As we recognize our thoughts and let them go we find ourselves solidly in the present moment, like the birds. 

After drawing our attention to the fact that birds are not occupied with the future, Jesus tells us that God loves them, feeds them and promises to do the same for us.    But I could point to plenty of evidence to the contrary.  Lots of people die of disease and hunger.   The people in Gaza with no medical care and no water to drink are not experiencing God’s feeding. 

So what kind of care and food does Jesus promise us?  What is most essential for our well-being? 

At the risk of offending some of you I have wondered if, in fact, the preservation of our physical lives is not important to God.  Many times in Scripture we are warned of the danger of “losing” our souls.  But I cannot think of one solitary verse or teaching that warns us about the dangers of losing our physical lives.  As a matter of fact, God seems to be absent when it comes to the preservation of human life. Volcanos and earthquakes kill thousands.  Wars and cruelty take the lives of children, women and the weak.  How can this be if, God has promised to preserve our physical lives?

Consider these admonitions from Scripture:

“What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”  Mark 8:36.  

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul “

Matthew 10:28

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”. Proverbs 4:23

When Jesus allowed himself to be crucified he demonstrated that the preservation of his own physical life was secondary to the preservation of His soul.  As He died He said, “Into thy hands I commit my spirit.”   Luke 23:46

This prioritization of “life” is the very opposite of most human thinking.  We live in a physical universe.  We carry ourselves around in a physical body. So, we seek physical safety.    There must be something much more important.  

The real enemies of our lives are not the things that threaten our bodies.  The real enemies of our lives are the things that corrupt our souls.   We can be consumed by greed, by hatred , by dishonesty, by arrogance, by addictions.  These are the enemies that pose the greatest threat to our lives. 

The food that Jesus promises us is not physical bread and water.   

The food God promises us in all circumstances, is the food of His love and companioning presence.  He promises a peace that passes any human way of thinking.  He promises to sustain us no matter how tough things become.

The soul can suffer great injustice without resorting to hate.  The soul can suffer cruelty, hunger, misunderstanding, betrayal, poverty, and disease and remain steadfast in love. For example, after nearly 30 years of being unjustly imprisoned Nelson Mandela emerged from his cell having won the friendship of his guards by loving them. Jesus, broken and bleeding hanging from a Roman cross implored God to forgive those who were responsible because they did not know what they were doing.  It is a complete reordering of our minds to prioritize life like this.

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life.  Whoever, comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty”.  John 6:35

God is offering to protect and sustain our souls in love no matter what we encounter in our human journeys. 

We live in a broken, threatening, compromised world. There are plenty of reasons to feel vulnerable, weak and afraid.  But we can choose to stop our reflexive repetitive thinking.  We can pause and consider the birds. We can choose to live in the moment we inhabit.  And in that moment we can open ourselves to the life-giving, sustaining love of God for our souls. 

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God.  Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats..None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.   I’m absolutely convinced that nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable, absolutely NOTHING can get between us and God’s love. “   Roman 8:38-39.   

I’m sure we have all heard a story about someone who gets a call from an attorney informing them that their long-lost distant aunt left them millions of dollars.   What a shock to suddenly learn they are the recipient of such huge wealth. 

    Most of us have probably played the game of “What would you do if you inherited 20 million dollars?”   We usually say we’d help some people, set up a foundation, and buy some stuff we want.   We act as if such a windfall like that would make us really happy.   However 70% of lottery winners are bankrupt within a few years.  Many are depressed or have huge family problems after this big win.  

     So what if there is something else that we desperately need and we already have? What if there is something far more valuable than temporary riches?

One of my favorite poems was written by the ancient Persian poet Hafiz:

~With the Moon~

“Admit something;

Everyone you see, you say to them, “love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud,

Otherwise

Someone would call the cops.

Still though think about this, this great pull in us to connect….”

    The universal deep need of every single human soul is to be seen, to be loved, and to connect.  We were made for it.   So it’s not material stuff that will really settle our hearts.    

      However, since many of us have left church and religion we have substituted our negativity about God with concepts like energy, the universe,  a philosophy, or spirituality.  Sadly all of these images lack any personal connection to us.  We are just one of billions on an impersonal dog-eat-dog planet.  

     An impersonal universe of energy has no capacity to love us, to commune with us, comfort us, or encourage us. 

     I have deduced after being on this planet for over seven decades that being human is a very difficult journey. Relationships, finances, health, and children (the list could be much longer) are often sources of discouragement, despair and deep pain. 

      So we tend to numb ourselves in the money chase, the perfect body chase, the most possessions chase.  We tune out with alcohol and drugs, work and sex, more possessions and chances to be acclaimed.   These are all drugs that we use in an attempt to fill the aching hole in us that can only be filled by love. The treasure we have and need is right in front of us, but we miss it.

     Jesus told several stories to help us know how invaluable this Treasure is.  

    In one, a man bought a whole field and dug up every square inch to find the treasure.  In another, a woman lost a coin and then emptied her entire house and swept everywhere to find it.  There is a Treasure we all need and it has already been given and it’s worth more than anything. In each case Jesus is teaching us that the Treasure He gives is invaluable. 

      Jesus constantly taught us that He was God’s very personal presence among us.  His  name “Emmanuel” means “God with us”.  He taught us that as he was leaving the planet he was giving his Holy Spirit to be in and with us. 

     In John 14 Jesus says, “God will provide you another Friend so that you will Always have Someone WITH you.  This Friend is the Spirit of Truth.” 

     Later in the same chapter Jesus says, “I am IN my Father, and you’re IN Me, and I’m IN you.”  

     This Treasure is better than getting a call from the attorney saying you’ve been given a huge windfall.  Imagine, knowing you are never alone, and that you actually have in you the the source of all wisdom.  You have inside of yourself the great LOVER. You are always heard and comforted.  This treasure is not “out there” somewhere.  It is not an impersonal universe.  This Treasure is God’s Spirit, and God can’t be much closer than IN you.  And, imagine this Treasure is not something you have to work for. 

     Notice Jesus calls His spirit our Friend.  This implies intimacy and connection always.  This is not an impersonal energy, philosophy, or universe.  This is a God who is about connection and love.  This is a God who laughs and cries with you.  This is a God who comforts you in all the hard and sad inevitabilities of life.  This is a God who never never never leaves you.  This is a God who speaks your language and invites you to relationship whether it be in a bar, on a hike, at your job, or at home with your kids.  

     There is one catch to all this, however. In order for us to actually experience this relationship requires that we be still enough in our minds and hearts to hear God. I find that I can make my environment quiet, but my mind is still full of noise.  Practicing being present in the moment, meditation, and mindfulness allow the noise to be turned down.  Unfortunately for us, God speaks in a very quiet voice and, we live in a culture that drowns us in noise all the time.  Hardly a minute goes by that we are not watching something, listening to something, or talking to someone.  But, taking a deep breath, turning off the noise and being still creates a space in us to actually hear the loving, guiding, comforting voice of God.  

We were simply not made to do this difficult journey of life alone.  

     The last thing Jesus said to us as He was leaving this planet was: 

“I am with you ALWAYS, even to the end of this age.” 

(Matthew 28:19).  

     So, if a lawyer called me today and told me I had inherited millions of dollars, I’d be happy, but that treasure would pale to the treasure of the actual, personal, relational, God living inside of me.  

Last April and May I spent 6 weeks being sick with Covid and a viral cold that was really nasty.   I was in my bed, or sat in my living room chair, or reclined in a chaise outdoors.  I was too sick to read or watch TV.   So, I just watched.  I witnessed the bare trees slowly push out their first buds.  I saw the buds soundlessly erupt into vivid colors of pink and yellow and white. Nature was having a party.  I was slowed down enough to see it all as it happened.  Under more normal circumstances I would have seen a bush or tree in full bloom and I would have mentioned it’s beauty. But I would have missed the whole process of it’s becoming.  It was awful being that sick for that long, but I must say I learned something about paying attention.  I had nowhere to go, nothing I could do, and everyone was scared to visit me.   So I watched and I watched, and I watched. I saw that I was not alone.  God was surely in that back yard with me. 

Barbara Brown Taylor says in her book “An Altar in the World”, “Earth is so thick with divine presence, it is a wonder that we can walk anywhere without cracking our shins on altars everywhere.”

In Exodus 3 there is a story about Moses who was a runaway murderer.  In Egypt he had killed an Egyptian who was beating one of the Jewish slaves.  Afraid, he took off to hide and save his life.  He ended up working for his father-in-law minding sheep in the hot dusty barren desert.  In Egypt he had been a prince.  He was a man of privilege and wealth.  Now he was stuck in the dirty, hot desert with a bunch of sheep.  He had no idea where he was going or what he would do.  One day as he walked through the mundane, familiar desert a bush in front of him erupted into a flame.  From that bush God spoke to him and told him to go back to Egypt and lead the Israelites out.   Moses took off his shoes knowing he was on holy ground.  (If a bush erupting in fire sounds far-fetched to you just remember God inhabits every bush and tree and rock and person and everything you can see. To get our attention sometimes He has to cause a “fire” of some sort. ) 

There was Moses on the backside of the desert, a murderer, a sheepherder, and God was there.  And THERE God reminded him he was not alone.

The fact is that God is everywhere waiting to be perceived.   It is He who moves the clouds in the ocean blue sky.  It is He who shines out of a new-born baby’s eyes. It is He who pushes the breeze.  It is He who greets you with a wag and a lick when your dog is ecstatic to welcome you home. This is a world where God is hiding in plain sight.   

In the mornings I often walk in the hills near my house.  Sometimes I sort of play the game of “God is here”.  I stop to hold a rock or contemplate a bush or tree and I say “You are here”, and, “You are here”. God holds the universe and is the energy that vibrates through it everyday.

The secret to perceiving God’s presence everywhere is slowing down our bodies and our minds.  In slowing down we can ponder, and touch, and hold, and really see the things we pass.   Or we can can be lost in thought and not even be where we are.  To walk contemplatively requires that we perhaps go more slowly so we can notice.  And, It requires turning off the endless loops of our thinking.

Can we walk through this earth in all our human experiences knowing God is here and here and here? We can see him in the grocery store, in the office, in the hospital, and in each person we encounter.  It’s all there for us to notice if we just pay attention. 

To slow down and approach everything with reverence is to see God everywhere.  An awareness will settle over us that we are never alone.  God is not “up there” somewhere.  He is here.  He is not just around us in all things He is right here inside of us.   To slow down is to stop rushing right past people and things. 

When we do this, the world twinkles with meaning.  Every person and every living thing is precious to us.   Our hearts burn inside us like that bush because we are not alone.  We are in an enchanted world with God.  

My favorite moment of the Oscars this year was when Lady Gaga sang. In a subdued black tee shirt and jeans, wearing no make up she  quietly began to sing. In that moment goose bumps went up and down my arms.   I guess you would say that my response was one of awe.   I was mesmerized.   As I thought about it later, I wondered at my reaction,  and then it occurred to me.   

Lady Gaga is the full embodiment of her purpose on earth.  

I think it’s easy these days for most of us to feel small and perhaps insignificant.  We get up each day and go about our business.  Sometimes it’s boring and routine.   Sometimes it’s a bit more interesting, but most of the time it feels small.  

Jesus spoke a lot about small things.   He taught in various ways that small things are really big things.   A tiny tiny mustard seed grows into a big tree.  A tiny grain of salt gives flavor to the whole dish.  One candle can light up a whole dark space.  One tiny bit of leaven leavens a whole loaf of bread.  

At one time Jesus said, “You are the light of the world.”  He did not say that you should be the light of the world.  He said, “You ARE the light of the world”.   

Think about that for a bit.  A light can show us the way home.  A light can help us avoid danger and pitfalls.   A light can inform us and dispel darkness.  Being a light is not a small thing.  Being a light is Divine, and when we are the light we embody the Divine on earth. 

I often despair that my “little” things don’t make much difference.  When I consider the overwhelming darkness of injustice and inequity in the world my little bit seems so insignificant.  

What does it look like to be light in these days?   I think, simply put, that being light is being the heart of God wherever we are.   It is showing extraordinary interest in the clerk at the grocery store.  It is taking time to send a text to someone you know is hurting.  It is knowing your neighbor is sick and taking the time to make nutritious food to drop off for them.  It is a mom that nurtures her children.  It is refusing to be part of a business deal that is shady.  It is refusing to react in anger at the other political side.  It is generosity.  It is patience.  It is kindness.  It’s a dad or mom who work hard all day and then come home to play with their kids.  It is little tiny stuff.  AND it matters.  

One time a huge crowd had followed Jesus to hear Him teach.  It was getting near dinner time, and people were hungry.  They were far from town or anyplace to buy food.   The disciples immediately looked at their own resources and quickly determined that the money they had would never feed such a big crowd. Then a little boy came to Jesus.  He had packed his lunch of five little rolls and 2 tiny  sardines.  He presented his meager little tiny lunch to Jesus.  Jesus prayed and thanked God. Then the boy’s lunch was multiplied to feed over 5,000 people with baskets-full left over.   The little boy gave his little bit to God who made it big enough for everyone.

Another story Jesus told was of a man who was traveling the road from Jerusalem to Jericho.   Robbers set upon him and took all his money, stripped him naked, beat him and left him for dead.   Down the road came a Levite and then a Jewish priest traveling the same road. They saw the man. I’m sure the man who had been beaten was a mess.  They did not seem to want to dirty their hands or stop to help. So they walked around him and went on their way.  Then a man from Samaria (they were hated by the Jews), saw the man lying there destitute and bleeding.  He stopped and bandaged him up. He poured expensive oil and wine on his wounds.   Then he loaded him on his own donkey.  He took him to an innkeeper and gave the proprietor money to nurse the man back to health.  And then he went on his way.  Who knows if the innkeeper used all the money to care for the man.  Who knows what became of that man.  The Samaritan went on his way not knowing if what he did mattered at all.   

In each case what seemed small was big and it did matter.  We don’t need to be rich or powerful.  We don’t need to be educated or have important jobs.  We do need to get up each day knowing that we are given the most important job in the world.  We have the chance many times a day to be the heart of God right where we are. 

So, we may not be able to sing like Lady Gaga but when we choose to be tiny lights in this dark dark world, we are the embodiment of our purpose on the planet.  

 We are the embodiment of the Divine heart of love.